I love them. So much so that i still miss them even
when I'm with them.

Ame, do you rmb how I will always ask you if you're
okay everytime you look moody?
Do you remember that I always take your camera
and take self-potraits and you'll just give up snatching
the camera away? Cos I'm way too big for you?
Then you'll be in the whatever mode and praying hard
that your camera battery will go flat soon so that you
can save it from me? Remember how I always smack
your ass then hurrily run away? Remember I said that
your handwriting is nice but small? Remember when
zan sleep then we will hit the table to scare her?
Remember how we always need to do our english
journal and you'll always only write three lines or less?
Remember you always slap my head and your head?

Gaya, do you remember that we used to have late
night talks till two three am in the morning?
Just fantasizing things that will never come true.
Remember how I used to tell you to pin her down
and drug her coke so that you can have her?
And we will laugh it off cos all these will never happen.
Remember how I irritated you continuously until you
wanted to try to irritate me but failed? Remember how
we talk like nobody business during english?
Remember how you made me buy milo because
you were hungry? Remember we tied our hair together
and act all girly in school? Remember how we fail math?
Remember how we get the same marks for math and
got the highest? Remember how mdm Y scold you and
say you're attracting attention? Remember how I always
get you into trouble with mdm Y? Remember we finally
thought math was fun?

Nicole, do you still have the tissue paper? The first one
we wrote at macs and was regarded top secret and confidential?
Because what we wrote inside was so shocking that only we
knew? Remember you told me not to talk about her
anymore because you scared you fell for her and I laughed
until I almost died cos you said that? Do you remember
every sunday was our lao couple day until my mum
suggested that it's family day? Do you remember that
you once told me a top secret and I can't tell anybody
or else I that's it? Do you remember how we will
laugh like shit when we talk about her? How we
will push her to each other and say, " your girlfriend"?
Remember how I tease you and will always tell you
I tell her? Remember Macdonalds? Remember
Starbucks? Remember sorry? Remember how I told
you I love you? Remember that you said it was gross
to hug me? Remember you're fatter than me?
Remember how I say, "so fat!" and then run away
after saying that? Remember how we will quarrel
over who's fatter and it's obvious its you?
Remember how we walk around town so that we
can see whoever? Remember whatever I remember?
Do you even remember me?

Shuwen, do you remember how I was sucha
act cute last time? But you'll still love it?
Remember how we tease *ahem?
Remember I always go your house? Remember we
always go school together? Remember we have to
cheong for art together? Remember how we will just
look at each other and just laugh? Remember we sat
beside each other in class for two years? Remember how
we fucking fought? Remember you always wear coloured
bra and I try ways and means for you to get found out?
Remember how you always msg in class and then I will
purposely wanna bao tou you? Remember how I will snatch
your food and eat it up?

Zaneta, remember you are not ah lian. Remember how
you make me have the -_- face? Remember how I scolded
you? Remember how we talk in our own unique language?
Remember how your uh na-s make me and nicole feel like
strangling you? Remember how you always irritate?
Remember when you were down and I was talking to you?
Remember how I told you to be happy? Remember how
you said you will always be there for me no matter what?
Remember how we act lian and beng together but always
deny the fact? Remember how we always say nicole is the
beng? Remember you bought me sardin bread when you
were sec two? Remember you yourself told me that
you were a corrupted prefect? Remember me telling you
that your face itself is already funny?

Yknow, I miss all of you so much.
I'm so dumb to have made such a decision.
What I have now are photos of ya'll not forgetting
the memories. These, I will never forget.
But now I don't have you guys anymore.
This is hurting. I'm sorry to make all of you
angry. I cried and cried and cried hoping that
the next day will be a better day. But i wake
up to feel even more loneliness cos I'm without
anyone. I love you Amelia, I love you Gayathri,
I love you Nicole, I love you Shuwen and I love
you Zaneta. I love the five of you. A LOT A LOT.


Now, you see. What you told me in a message caused
this? I know, this is all my doing. But if you hadn't told
me whatever then all these wouldn't have happened.
Are you happier now to see me like this? I'm not blaming
you, I just want you to think before you say anything.
Cos some things are sensitive issues. Especially when it's
about my friends.
Now, go laugh at me for being the biggest joke you've
ever met. You got what you wanted, so be happy that
things are the way it is. There's no need to feel
remorseful cos I know you won't. There's no guilt in you.
Cos if you're thoughtful, you wouldn't talk about my
friends. Go on, laugh at me. Ask your friends to join in too
if they're not in it. Really got to hand it to you.

Yours, K
1:18 AM