Labels: shisha reminds me of tango

Yours, K
1:16 AM

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice calls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer

Somewhere I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I really know
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

i saw this in her blog. i think this fits me now.
if this is torture im willing to go through it.
look at the time now, im still not asleep.
ill go have a puff before slpg.
gnite world.

Yours, K
4:11 AM

the same thing is happening,
just tht its a different person now.
you dint reply my messages,
so dont say i didnt play my part.
you didnt.

dont even say you wnt me as a friend
or you still like me cos we both know
you dont.
dont try to make yourself sound damn
stress cos replying a msg doesnt make
you stress.

finally. you've made it clear wht you rly wntd.
im sorry i couldnt understand bec i was too
slow to get wht you mean.
take care and gdbye.

Yours, K
11:41 PM

im fucking sad, cos my computer crashed
and ALLLLLLL, YES I MEAN ALLLLLL
my things in the com is gone :(
my photos, my songs, my videos,
my school notes etc are ALL GONE!
stupid com, stupid sch, stupid software.

CBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCB!

Yours, K
9:50 PM

now things cant go right for us,
its time to just leave and forget.

sentosa trip for tmr cancelled,
instead its breakfast with them.
then off to band to see the juniors.
i missed them. like abcdefg! :(

i wnt time t pass so slow tht its
rly so snail like till i can feel
the slowness in the atmosphere.
heard tht you've been doing fine
wihtout me, but im not without you.
i cant take another day without you.
i wna be back t yr arms, where i belong.

but its a shame i cant.

Yours, K
11:00 PM

tht was a pretty long post i have thr.

she's looking so fine,
she's so pretty.
she smiles so wide.
she's so smooth,
she's so cheery.
i hope she's mine.
omg, i think i've a huge crush on her.
dammit, it started because of a dream.
thts my first crush.

now for the second.
she's so funny, i think she shoot
jokes while talking.

now for the third.
she spins nd turns.
..... thts all i know abt her.
HAHA.

omg, so many crushes. im so flirt.
im flirt, wait im not.
many crushes doesnt mean im flirt.
they dont know anws.
and when you lead many ppl on,
thts flirting. sounds like shit face.
HAHA.

guess all my crushes, all the descriptions
are thr. and pls, if you know dont tag their
names on my blog. esp you, nic. kthanksbuaiz!

Yours, K
1:56 AM

tmr or rather tdy is the friday the thirteenth.
i hope i dont get the bad bad luck.
haha, so cliche. anws, its not like i dont
have the bad luck alr. ohwells.
nic said " see you online, means you hafta be online ah."
but until now, i dont see her online. tht liar! arg.

i want t wake up in the morning to
see her sleeping beside me. i'll give
her many kisses and uknowingly she'll
kiss me on the forehead. then she'll fall
back to sleep almost immediately.
i'll watch her sleep and smile thinking t myself
how cute she is when she tries t take
the blanket all t herself and leave me nothing.
after awhile, realising its too hot she'll
dump the blanket t me. how silly.
when her hair gets into her face, ill put
it at the back of her ears. her hair so soft
tht i cant resist but t stroke it gently, so tht
she wont be disturbed.
when she wakes up she'll make funny
noises then she'll fall to her side. calling
my name softly hoping tht i cant hear her.
then she'll lie on my shoulders and cuddle
up beside me. she'll take my hand and stroke
it. all these i knew it. but i kept on sleeping
letting her show me tht she loves me.
and when i knew she fell asleep on me,
i put my hands ard her so tht she'll get closer.
when she wakes up again, she nudged me.
i woke up t the excessive nudges and she greeted
me with the world's sweetest kiss on my forehead.
and i want this to repeat over and over again.

one night, i hugged you to sleep and in the
morning we were still in the same position.
you complained to me how yr back aches
because of tht but you said you love it cos
you can feel tht i never want t let you go.
i'll never let you go.

i remembered there was once when i held
your hand in a funny way. and you asked why
do i like t hold it tht way. so i answered because
this way, i can hold you much tighter.
you nod yr head and looked away,
but i knew you smiled cos from the corner
i can see your cheeks higher than usual.

she's my best friend, my confidant, my secret,
my teacher and my love.
she's looking so tanned and im white.
i need t get darker so tht we can match,
but this is wht she said,
" we'll be outstanding when i'm darker
and you're fairer, so ppl will notice
us and i'll show them ive got a girlfriend
like you and they don't "

how sweet, but it never last.

Yours, K
12:31 AM

im utterly depressed.
i just said this depressing sentence to euph.

you sacrificed me for her,
that is not acceptable nd is unreasonable.
fuck you okay. srsly, one day im gonna
hate you nd then im gonna tell you i
love you no more nd walk away.

i hope i can bring myself to do that,
but i can only hope.
im so useless.

fuck the both of you.

Yours, K
10:51 PM

you know, sometimes i feel tht you put up a
fake front infront of me.
nd sometimes i feel tht you dont rly treat
me as a friend. tell me if im wrong,
cos from wht i see it doesnt seems
tht you're my " friend " either.

im sorry if ive done anything t hurt
you or to do something wrong
against you. but i got my reasons
for me doing tht. nd those are reasons
tht i cannot cannot reveal.


dont worry, this is DEFINITELY not abt
nic,shu,gaya,ame or zan.
this is just for someone else.
nd its true. PLEASE dont ask me
who cos ive decided t keep this
a secret. but blogger was the best way
t let her know.
oh, its not natasha tan too. its definitely
not her. if ever tht person were to know,
ill be kinda surprised.

im caps-ing it cos i wna emphasise tht
its not for the ppl mention above.
gnite.

Yours, K
11:04 PM

im offically out of this clique.
dont ask me why,
jus hear it from here would be best.

im feeling the overwhelming sadness in me.

Yours, K
8:38 PM

it's been some time since we last spoke,
this is gonna sound like a bad joke.

i just read ame's blog. (080407)
well said. she blogged abt how she
really felt nd i agreed. bad addictions,
bad cultures can actl be inculcated in one's life.
all they need is time t do it nd everyone knows
tht its easier to learn bad than good.
but since most of us know, then
why do we still choose to learn the bad way?
like wht ame said abt ' number one ' ,
he's a straight Ace student but Yet,
he chose t steal, for wht?
for the fun of it or just bec he's too rich
so he needed some entertainment?

i admit, i stole from my mum many times.
nd each time i stole, it'll be in hundreds.
be in a hundered or two. when i took it,
i dont feel any guilt at all. i thought i ought t
take it cos aft all she's suppose t give me money.
thinking back, i was being sucha unfilial daughter.
my mum worked so hard t earn money for
the family, to pay off bills nd even neccessities
for household nd even for my school.
but here i am stealing her hard earned money
like i dont give a fuck how much isit.
i feel so guilty till now.
so wht if she's working in a big company nd
earn big bucks?its not right t steal
from someone, esp your parents.

hahaha. i know, its like why am i blogging
abt all these. like it doesnt concern anyone
of you at all. but im trying to post it up here
cos i want ppl to know ive turned over a new leaf.
i tried nd i did. i no longer steal nd i even
worked for my own expenses. to the
extend tht i gave my parents nd grandma
money for their expenses. yknow, i feel so
damn proud of myself. 

anws,
you gave it up for some new ppl.
how did you know she gave it up?
she didnt. i never see you try harder
before, never ever ever.

where were you when we were laughing?
where were you when we were joking?
where were you when we were talking?
we mentioned you when we were talking
cos we missed you. do you know?
but, where were you? you were nowhere
near us, nowhere reachable.
do you know it hurts t see you closer to them
nd not us? do you know it hurts tht this is
getting out of hand nd noone is doing anything.
why dont you care, bec its a hassle now or
isit we're not on yr list anymore?

so now, where did you go?
i haven heard from you for weeks.
oh, i see. we're forgotten. not surprising
isnt it? cos we can see. if you dont need us
then let me tell you this, we dont need you
too. without you we're crippled,
but since if you can do without us,
then wht cant we? we're not yr followers
anymore. not like ure the
leader either.

why cant you two just settle whatever tht happened?
must ya'll really not care abt each other?
is tht wht ya'll wnt?

cant you change for the better nd stop
moving back to the past. move on
nd dont hog onto it.
past explains it all. look forward to the future
nd just let us all be happy again.
you dont have to doubt her yknow.
she's your friend. dont you trust your own
friend? why must you say hurting things to her?
fine, you dont find it hurting but do you
know it pierced her? but she cannot
be bothered cos she gave up.
you caused the ending yrself,
But if you're willing to do wht
you promised then im sure she'll
welcome you back. very sure.
please, dont ever paint a good picture
in front of anyone. cos you know
everyone have got their own limits nd
you got yrs.

stop it. you dont have to keep harping
on it. wht benefit do you get if you do?
but have you thought of wht consequences
you've caused when you do.
cos ure her friend, she gave you face.
did you realise it or are you just
caught up with expressing your
thoughts in the wrong way? isit a must for
you to say all these so you can
' get it off yr chest' ?

i hope all of us will think abt it.
isit worth losing it just for something
minor but offensive?
sometimes sorry does cure, but
you never did try to say the word.
bec you think ure alwys right?
or isit bec you think tht word
doesnt exist in your dictionary?
i think its the latter.
ponder over it carefully.
dont get worked up, cos getting
worked up will only confuse your own mind.
really.

wow, this is srsly a damn long post.
type until im kinda hungry now.
haha. im gonna sleep, damn tired.
gnite world.

nd we can be on the phone for,
three hours not saying one word.
nd I would still cherish every moment.

Yours, K
2:38 AM

this is getting too far from wht i imagined,
this is the ending tht you called for.

youghurt taste so good although its made
from bacteria. as im putting the spoon filled
to the brim with yoghurt in my mouth,
the bacteria are actl wriggling in my mouth waiting
t get disgested in my stomach. they'll kill all the bad
cells nd make it into better cells (?) HAHA.
but rly man, its damn nice. apple flavour!

its not surprising im getting EMOtional
day by day. no matter how hard i try t make
myself happy, it doesnt work a single bit.
cos it lies at the back of my head nd it chooses
to resurface only at night when one's mind
starts t think nd remember.
srsly, fuck this whole situation.
i dont know wht you're trying t get outta me?
do you wnt t see me all depressed as
though the end of the world has come for me?
does tht please you so much tht you wna
do it t me time nd time again?
if you're, tell me. dont do those same
fucking things you did again!
you're draining me out. please be very
happy tht all my energy has been given t you,
now please change for the better.
it doesnt matter if we cnt be like before but
i just wnt the old you back, even as friends.
im pleading you. thank you.

i hate my room lights.
its really irritating the shit out of me.
it keeps flickering between orange nd white.
i need t go buy new round light bulb. haha.
sch's starting, nd i think i dread it.
dammit. i want it t be fun nd not dead boring
like during orientation they teach you how
to use laptop! #@$%^&^%$#
mfcb. wah, this post damn long.

friend, why arent you answering her calls?
friend, dont be over sensitive.
friend, she's yr friend.
friend, she loves you.
friend, dont think she hates you.
friend, think abt the consequences caused.
friend, you dont mind losing her dont you?
friend, she's upset tht ure not contacting her.
friend, are you their friend?
friends, we are still your friends.

dont you have to find out whts right nd wrong?
who's right nd wrong?

Yours, K
10:43 PM

i hope i can be less over sensitive,
cos i know its killing me nd you.

you dont understand how i feel.
do you think when im happy, im rly happy?
do you know wht lies beneath?
it fucking hurts tht we're not the same anymore,
we're different, nd i cant accept it.

you dont get how im feeling,
you've never tried asking.
nd we both know in the end,
the happiest will be you.

Yours, K
7:16 PM

i love it when you love me,
sometimes it's better when it's publicly.

great day today! :)
met up with nic nd laughed like a lot with her.
over things like fergielicious. HAHA.
anws, then we slacked ard until jus when
i came home. my sides are damn pain :(
im gonna die! :(

nd i was trying t figure out al's letter cos
its damn messy. nd yaye, i figured out all.
haha. thanks al :)

cos just by hugging you is happiness,
it beats everthing.

Labels: you took me down

Yours, K
12:39 AM

my friend says t her dog: you cant slp with me on the same bed,
im sick.

-less than five secs

friend: rocky! come here!
me:-______-

wah, srsly. first say cannot slp with her cos she sick
then nex time i hear is she ask tht bitch (dog) t come slp w her.
i cnt help laughing. hahah.

Yours, K
12:26 AM

edit.

yeah la, yeah la! i get it now.
she's for you.

" dont worry, i will protect you "

"dont let me wait for too long....
cos i will miss you. "

" omg! ure killing me! ure killing me.... softly. "

OMG. hahah! this is so funny.

Yours, K
12:50 AM

cant all of you see?
tht she is a lie

so im currently with sub on the phone. but shes not talking
cos shu's mum in the room nagging :O
she sounds damn fierce.
i saw debbie at my work place tdy.
she scare me but popping out of nowhere.

i got no mood t blog alr.
fuck you.

Yours, K
1:35 AM