jus came bac fr townin!
went with monkey, neh, shu, kay- , kay's mother and fel.
( kay went t see a doc w her mom btw.)
jiemin came t join us ltrs. it was kinda fun, cos almost e whole time i was laughin.
all tnks t neh! bt tnks for mkin us laugh anws. ((:
right, went taka and monkey saw a cute ballon i tink its spongebob or wassit patrick?
and she wanted t get it bt the salesman spoilt her mood by sayin tt
the ballon cnt be deflated so if she wnts it she gota carry it inflated.
jus imagine a monkey carryin a balloon. OH!
me and neh wnted t get this spongebob TROLLEY BAG. and we wnted t oso bring
it t sch and carry it ard?! goodness, bt its damn cute pls!
den went forum's toys r us. hardly haf any spongebob thingys!
ARGHH!
den went bac cine, went arcade. monkey left us first.
so shu n neh played ddr. neh so JIDONG! dance like she gna fall any min!
HAHS!
okays, so im bac here bloggin. jus tld monkey tt i very lazy t blog?
and i tink my entry lnger den hers pls!


girl, i wnt leave you. i'll love you with
all my heart, body and soul.
i simply love you t bits and tits!
(:



` spyke

Yours, K
1:50 PM

jus finish eating dinn. and im so FULL. ate so much. shit, add more t e hrs alr la.
anws, i feel so bad now. called you den yr mom scold. sry.
okays, jus went out w you. so bored, sat one bus and anyhow go. like so fun yeh?
den leg damn pain la. anws, im so frggin tired. yawns.
but hey! i had so much fun with you pls! and im feelin so happy.
happy shalala, im feelin so happy shalala.
RIGHT.

i miss you alr. arghh! okays, im gna slp now.

ciao -

ask me if i love you and and i will say....


i will (:


` spyke

Yours, K
1:18 PM

i'm waiting for you t come bac. its takin so lng. i'm gna die of lovesick!





i miss you.



i'm gg crazy over you, head over heels for you.




can you see?




` spyke

Yours, K
1:53 AM

SIGH.
all the sudden im missin band and my section mates ; diana, viviana, vanessa, serene, stacey,
alex, tessa and valerie !
i miss you guys so much, and its like this empty feelin in me. tt i see you guys in sch and nt
in band anymore. bt i will come bac t see you guys durin the hols!
and tt is if you wnt me t come bac. play well, behave and concentrate.
dnt let yrs of playin be wasted and you noe i always love you guys. and im rly very sad now,
cos i RLY MISS ALL OF YOU )))))):

im seriously slackin at home now. blog agn ltrs.

_____________________

okays, im back! and SO,
went out w fel n shu. shu ate so much okays, but LUCKILY i ate a bit lesser.
or else the 93 hrs will increase t i dono hw many hrs!
alrites, den saw hei and her fren in twn too. was alr in somerset mrt den hei called us bac.
idiot, so walked bac. played den go hm agn. waste my ez link fare. kns! ((:
and the whole time tday i was so upset but managed t like mk myself a bit hpy.
bt nw im totally missin you like fiack. miss you so badly )):
bt anws, i tink ure comin bac tmr? i cnt rmb la, bt i hope you'll be bac tmr!

oh shits, dere's music lesson tmr and i dnt feel like gg. gotta be under e hot sun ; cn get tanned!
bt im so white pls, oh no.
anws, its fr 11-630pm agn! so darn lng lei, and i dnt haf my instrument anymore.
BOOHOOS!
i only like gt approximately 7hrs of slp. right, i wna slp!
GNITE sweets.


i miss you


` spyke

Yours, K
2:49 PM

i dono if i shd be feelin happy or sad?
is like yes tday im very happy BUT
some things i found out abt ppl, and im kinda worried u cn say?
i mean i feel s tho its ALL my fault, bt jus tt u wun understand.
SIGH.
im feelin so guilty nw, isit actually right for you t do so?
fiack la.
im actually tinkg if its wrong?! NO I CNT!

okays, anws.
saturday and sunday is so empty.
without you.
no laughs, no jokes )))))):
no you. worse.
no mood t blog.

ciao ((:



` spyke

Yours, K
1:28 PM

edited my post.
how shd i put it in words?
tt i wnt you t be mine, and tt all i did for you was worth it.
i now it's a request you cnt fullfill and its against yr will.
and i BET u dono tt im sad. i knew it anws )))))):
you dun even bother, let alone care.
wht if i let go? will you be happier?
i tink you'll be happier if i leave.
and yes, you will.

had quite a lot of fun tday; played badminton.
right hand is so darn painful, but i cn tone it up :p
i'm nt lookin forward t tmr. cos you're leavin.
but im nt suppose t be sad bcus i'm nt suppose t care anymore.
am i?
i tink tmr we're playin badminton agn. i dono, nt confirm. bt i hope we are. YAY!

i tink its over alr. i noe its alr over. you cn fgt me now. it'll be easy (:
and nt for me. cos i gave more den i accepted.
i'll rmb tday esp. cos its the last day i'll be talkin t you.
HAF FUN.
i'll rly stay away nw.
BYE.

the scarred heart; my heart


` spyke

Yours, K
1:20 PM

HEYHOS!! ((((((:


right, im rushin thru this entry. in the com lab now, cos my stupid cranky com cnt wrk anymore.
gotta repair it. darnit.
ltrs got youth concert and i hafta stay bac until so late. so tired, i need t rush so many things.
i need t find so many things too. by thursday, or else i'll be LATE.
nth's in my head except the image of Y O U .
so i gotta stop bloggin cos im missin you. mus concentrate! HAHS!

love me like i love you ?


` spyke

Yours, K
3:57 AM

HELLO!


YOU ;

someone who pronounces my name in a weird way (lim kar(pitch down)mun)
someone who is so piggish
someone whom i wna be with
someone whom i love a lot
someone who i wna spend my life with
someone that goes sai you la!
i want you t love me
someone whom i want t hear a yes from

ME ;

i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you


US ;

t be together ((((((((:


` spyke



i'm feelin sad again, pls jus take it away once and for all.
be mine
it'll cure.

Yours, K
1:05 PM

tday was so boring! early in the morning like ard 7 plus i woke up
t prepare for music lessons. but whn i lie on the bed for A WHILE,
i fell aslp! oh goodness. im sucha pig ((:
and so i called you but you greeted me with a slpy voice. FINE.
you were still aslp. okays, fr 11-655pm i had lessons!? it was suppose t end earlier. but heck, hahs.

oh, found out tt you still holdin on t your fone BUT you cnt reply! HAHS!
but you alr did, so you gotta control pls! ((((((:

suppose t eat dinn with my mom, but i called her hp and she dint switch it on! wtf?
cheat my feelins! but she's my mom, i cheat her feelins more den she cheated mine :p
and im currently lookin for a NEW blogskin AGN! and i've been at it for almost a week.

okays, i promised in e previous entry tt i'll blog abt ytd.
here goes..


saturday -
went out with shu, ame and zan. skye met us ltrs.
went t eat at kfc and den walk ard for a while. took neos and the machine is so DAMN CUTE!
it willl go 3..2..3.2.1 GO! so darn cute right?!!!!
say yesss! (((((((((:
we took tt same machine for abt 3times, if im nt wrong.
den aft tt zan, ame and skye hadta leave. so me n shu went t taka t look for fel and jinn.
den we laughed and played?
and i kept teasin fel! its so damn fun t tease her. PLS TRY! hahs.
den walk t cine. i wanted t go t the ' GENTS ' but anyhoo, i went t the LADIES!
and went in and saw a grp dere. i dint noe dey wer dere until shu tld me.
am i blur or m i blur? right.

went arcade and play. waited for the @%$&#@& time crisis for so lng! and FINALLY,
i got t play! YAY! so jiemin n frens joined us afterwards. and we played the soccer game!
its so funny pls. cos the men were stuck tgt n the handle thingy came off. so funny ((:
okays, wanted t play pool too BUT in e end dint.
walked t heerens den bac t cine. was like ultra happy i shd say whn we walked t cine.
cos i saw someone. and yadayadayada.
(((((((((((((:

so tt was wht happened ytd. i dint elborate much la.

and im feelin so cold. bloody aircon, put so low alr stil so cold! arghh!
whn its cold, _______ get -------
FILL IN THE BLANKS!
HAHS!
(:

im super sian now. sian sian sian. gna slp.
wait, im not. im gna look for blogskins now.

i say you say BYEEEE!! ((((:


` spyke

Yours, K
12:25 PM

heyho
im happy n sad. happy cos i get t spend a lil time with you. sad bcus you gt NO fone! den cnot msg you.
sai la. ken confiscated by yr dad. arghh!!
this is pissing me off totally. and im sry okays? sigh. sry.
and so currently at my fren's plc. so you dun wry, im alright. im starting t miss you alr. sigh.
this sucks. tmr will b a tough day. gt music lessons which i dun even wna go?
arghh!
i hate ALL THIS!
okays, iim nt in e mood t blog anymore. blog abt tday tmr. ))))):
im nt happy anymore.

` spyke

Yours, K
2:55 PM

hey )):
tday is nt one of my beta days. so screwed up. first it was e youth concert; does the ppl in charge tinks tt band is like
their bacup?! for goodness sake, its nt! band is like one of the most impt cca in spore? and ppl jus dun appreciate band.
esp ppl in my sch. everything was nt accordin t planned. drags. this sucks.

and another; YOU!
i was so sad the whole of ytd n tday. and i was sad bcus of you. cos firstly, u dint feel e way i felt for you.
secondly, i was tinkg whether t _______ or nt. i was like tinkg? frens tels me t, and some tels me nt t. im gg crazy.
im nt gna go on anymore, or i'll jus cry typin tis entry. and im feelin pain. e pain jus cut through me, so deeply.
and its nt gna go away, it cnt. cn you heal me? its wrong, but so wht? i cn make you happier den anyone else cn.
ilu.
im sry ))):


` spyke

Yours, K
1:59 PM

hello ):
im so sad now. im so bloody sad. and i dun tink you noe why im sad. and if ure wonderin why im sad, den lemme
tell you. im sad bcus of you. but i doubt you'll bother. yeh, u dun bother ):
i dono whether t say everything here, im afraid tt ppl mite noe. hahs, like dey will also bother t read my blog?
i alr haf a decision in my head, but im still tinkg. i dono wht im doin now benefit me or you. but wev im tryin
t do now is hurtin me very badly. i dono why all these is happening, and i nvr want it t happen.
tmr is 4mths, one week. how much longer do you want me t wait? are you jus playin hard t get? if you are,
PLS stop. cos you're hurtin me. why must all these shit happen t me?! did i nt put in enuf t get you?
beat me t wake me up. my life is a livin hell. its screwed and messy, clear it up. i dowana live this life. this sucks.
)):

______________________

can you pls dun turn away and say no?
do you noe you're treatin me so badly?
you cnt heal me with your lies!
stop it! think wht you're doing t me.
feel my pain will ya?
feel e emotion im feelin.
stop makin me cry, it gettin nowhere.
i so wna say ' its time baby, lets end everything now... '
but you know i cnt let you go, and i dowan t.
if i tell you how the hell i feel, will you even care?
but.. isit more den a bloody fren?
i dono anymore. inside me i scream,
but no one hears me anymore, nt even you.
tell me, wht am i suppose t do. whn my life is a livin hell
and.......
whn i aint got you ))):


gimme strength t carry on. spyke's gna brk down soon. VERY soon.
heal me with your love. spyke's gg down too. she's half way down. save me )):


` spyke

Yours, K
11:58 AM

hello over there (:
right, went t sch as usual tday. gt bac my papers. was so surprised tt i passed? my goodness.
okays, den tmr gt another round of chkin papers. and im sure gna fail geog! confirm lo. math ah? i hope i cn pass la.
saw you tkin foto. and i dint mk you laugh or anything lo. hahs. i dint even look at you. i was lookin at yr ' good fren '.
so nt my fault. hahs. i tht u cried. bloody, bluff me lo. and im nt happy. im nt happy at all. but i dun dare tel you.
im afraid you'll count 123. threaten me only. sai.

______________________________

how i wish i can be your one,
to make sure you're alright.
to let you know how much you mean to me,
and that i'll never let you go.
i want to be there for you when you're down,
cos you know i'll never forsake you.

i want you to share your joy and sorrows with me,
i wana go through everything with you.
cos i want us to be O N E .
how much i want to let you know,
that i rly love you so.
to you my little girl,
i'm gna love you my only one.

you said something and its something i do not wna hear,
pls tell me how you feel abt me?
i love you like i love nobody else,
pls tell me you feel the same way too.
i'm hurting so badly,
can you see it baby?
times when i wna tell you how i feel,
you jus said bye.

cnt you jus try?
jus love me like how i love you?
pls, my baby. dun say no. you know well that i love you.
cos each day is a torture without you.

` spyke

Yours, K
11:22 AM

heyho (: you noe i rly wun be so enthu anymore. tday the sch played amazin race la. den my class 4.8 won SECOND PRIZE! so i was so happy, i ran up on stage. slipped and fall on my butt and went slidin down like some fatbomb. HAHS. and nearly e whole sch was dere? oh MY! i dint noe where t put my face at tt time okays. luckily, i action a bit. stand up slowly. showed tt im sry. and went t collect tt big prize! went bac t my line and fell dwn agn.damn unluckily okays! ARGH! and whn i brot e prize bac, my frens ate up EVERYTHING, leavin me NOTHING!
wow! wht hungry frens i haf. but its okays, it dey're happy. im happy too cos we as e class is bonded (:
den got my both leg and right hand injured. skin came off a lil. so i decided t put a bandage, it was makin me sodifficult t walk. and finally i took it off at home. hahs. but kinda pain without e bandage thingy. pain! ): so i guess nearly w whole sch wil noe abt my ' stunt '. GOSH! im gna hide my face t i dono where. jus gimme a black plastic n cover my whole face la. den i'll die of suffocation. YAY! im so sadist.

anws, back t e fallin dwn topic. whn i came up t stand on my both feet. i saw SOMEONE laughin like some shit lo.and she laugh until her face look like babun backside! HAHS! so red pls. but so CUTE too (:
okays, im wating for yr call and you jus called. double YAYS! okays. stop bloggin alr. ciao sexays! (:

Yours, K
11:34 AM

heyho (: i jus got back fr my sun tanning. and i looked kinda red BUT i noe tmr i'll haf bac my same white skin!
hmpfh! okays, anws. saw quite a few ppl at sentosa. but luckily tt person i dowana see is nt dere. whew!
was in sentosa w, shu, kay, fel, jiemin, isabel and cass. we played n played. kinda fun (:
we wanted t play e yellow board thingy so i asked a whole bunch of guys t get down. but den it was high tide.
me and fel cnt swim. so we dint dare t go over. but some assholes went t tk e yellow board. deprived jiemin, cass and isabel of playin. okays, den i was like learning hw t swim. but u noe, it failed. argh! hahs.
and you're in town now. i tink im gg town ltrs too. i hope t see you! but if nt den nvm ):

alrights, waiting for shu's call. she's tkin so lng. and i keep havin e feelin tt my whole hse is shakin!
maybe its another earthequake! touchwood! hahs, okays. wil blog agn ltrs. ciao sexay ladies ((:

okays, im like back alr. its nine plus now.i jus gt home fr shu's place. tday was kinda fun. nt until i heard someone
sayin smth abt me. so i msged tt someone and t tink she said you are so-so lookin! like wht e fiack? nw i tink she dosen
even look nice? hahs. im so mean but i dun care. as lng as dere is you. its smth worth smilin for (:
right, dint go twn in e end. went t kay's hse. and i was like splg dere? cos i was so fiackin tired okays! den went bac
home aft 20 mins or so. and was like suppose t mit you, but your mom said NO! she's so bad t me lo! i mis you so fiackin badly! sigh. i wna see you. oh, i rly hope tt wev i say t you ytd, you will like tink abt it carefully! cos i mean wev i say. t you i mean it, t some ppl.. dey dun cos dey dun deserve anything. HAHS! and im waiting for your call agn.
you're like doin hsewrk? cnt imagine you doin lo, cos you look like you wun do anything cos you're a P I G! you're MY
P I G! yay! (:

spyke say gnite, so pls be polite and say gnite too.
ciao hotties ((:
loveyou my hot sugarr!




` spyke

Yours, K
12:17 PM

hello dere (: okays im nt even suppose t put a smiley dere cos my mother scolded me for over 2hrs.
den i had t cal shu and tel her i cnt go her bbq. irritate me lo. but nw i cn go and i dono why too. prob cos
i dowana disappoint shu. anws, den cried for sucha lng time ytd nite n this morning. and you made me happy by callin me. yeh, nobody wil noe wht wil happen in e future. so you we mite tgt in e future too. hahs.
and you tink its cool whn grannies talk in english? i tink yr granny even beta! watch wrestling! hahs. mine oso
nt so cool s yrs! hahs. shd get gg alr. ciao hot babes (:


okays, jus gt home fr the bbq. and e time nw is 2245, and im waiting for your call. ure talkin t your fren now.
and everytime i go out for like bbq or like go out i always injure myself. tday one lng stick poke the middle of my 2nd n 3rd toe. den all e blood ooze out, so damn pain. den i was bbq-ing. so hot, den hands gt red. and hands gt black cos of charcoal. hell. right, and im talkin t you. yay.
okays, its gna be short. ciao hunks (:


` spyke

Yours, K
2:00 PM

okays, ytd was horrible. saw so many ppl i din wna see. and it was like an eye sore. it hurts so badly.
but luckily i saw whom i always want t see and there! my eyes was cured (: thnks a lot sugarr. hahs.
for ytd in e afternoon i saw ppl tt i dint wna see. but den at e nite. i was kinda super happy! cos i managed t see u for
THREE hrs. hahs. den things happened. and im kinda sry for wht i did. forgive me okays? (:
anws, enuf abt ytd.

abt tday. wanted t go tan but went t sentosa dere alr no sun. bloody hell. was so sad la. and some idiot called me
white chicken. hmpfh. but anws, im gg agn on monday. i dun care, i wna b brown cos its my favourite colour. hahs.
uh huh. and tday i dono why but i was sad over some stuffs. i wasnt lyk in e mood, but cos my frens were dere
i kept it inside me. yeh, after sentosa wnt t bugis t eat at mos. tammy joined me n shu. and kay's shirt was wet lo.
filthy wet. hahs. and im waitin for yr call, its tkin so lng. and im gna die. hurry up PIG.

shd i give it up since she's nt gna return it?


` spyke

Yours, K
11:55 AM

yay! finally exams over! but nw i gotta wry abt the fuckin results. fuckit.
anws, tmr im gna go ice skating den headin t twn. okays, it has been 3 yrs since i skate and i alr lost e sense of skate alr. hahs. okays, den prob gna watch hse of wax? yeh, its NC16 and i cn go watch w my jus turned 16 frens! SHU birthday was on 10.05.05 and steph's tday (12.05.05)
yay for em!old kids. hahs. uh huh, and im still gg bac sch tmr. t pick sab with shu. cnt slp in at all. im gna go shu's hse t SLP. im a pig.

this is sick. this is rly sick. whn i tink abt it i rly tink its sick (:
OH! tday e security guard so irretatin! lock me, shu, skye, ame and sab up in sch! he's sucha sai la. IRRETATES ME ONLY.
hahs. but in e end he let us out. D'OH! and i saw you at e bus stop alone. saw you studyin lyk a fuckin bloody NERD. wanted t say gbye, BUT
you alr look down at yr notes so cldnt say hi. so i jus waved t my frens. you idiot (:
my fingers are so pain now! skin peelin off okays, bcus doin e paperclips hearts for you. but its okays, at least im doin it for you and not for anyone else.

i hate HER. tt fuckin HER. whn i see you i see HER.
WHYY?!
hmpfh. okays, anws. im off lookin for a new layout.
i dun lyk e current one. its makin me pull my hair. not fgttin t say

ilu -




` spyke

Yours, K
1:14 PM

firstly, i wna get this clear. i did not hurt ker. and she hurt me bcus she was e one who broke up not me. and for yr info, she is happy now with ter. and she is not sad at all. i tink i am e sad one. and pls, if i like e girl i will ask her t turn. who wldnt. we're e same, when u like a girl at first u oso ask her t change wht. tts y you now u HATE e person u used t LOVE.
and if you got e guts, say it in front of our faces instead of in yr blog. if u wna talk it out, WE ARE OKAYS!
we are open minded, so dun hide behind yr shell. THANK YOU.
i noe she wun turn, but does it hurt even askin? im askin u now, cos tts wht u did last time. dere was a past in u. and u cnt fgt yr past bcus wht u are in e past wil always b in u. yes, i believe ure straight but like i always say, dere is always a scar of croookedness. dere are still memories. unless ure heartless.

_________________

okays, enuf of all this shits. its gettin nowhere.
anws, i tld you hw i fuckin felt jus now. i tink you kinda got angry? fuck. im sry. but nvm, i tht abt it lng and hard.
ure worth it, but i tink all i can do is t jus look at you at a corner. and u'll be in my heart, deep inside.
tts enuf. i waited until im burstin. but ilu.



` spyke




am i still gna wait?

Yours, K
6:55 AM

went t SOMEONE's blog. tt person super thickskin la. pls lo, she tinks she's on so great. but pls she's e hole in my fuckin ass. oh man, darn fuckin funny. jus tld her tt i'll be myself which is bein so fuckin vulgar, and she says it okays! well, cn she not say okays whn im nth t her. dammit.

_________________

jus now was in town with shu, skye, ame, and zan. den ltrs me and shu went off t mit steph. passed her e money for tt bbq pit thingy, den dey talked abt wht t buy. and in e end i dono who's buyin wht too. hahs.
anws, den ltrs went back and was suppose t mit fel but she was w elaine cos its elaine's bdae! HAPPY BDAE ELAINE!!
and den we studied and studied until 6 plus and elaine hafta go off. so sent her off. den saw jie min, so all 3 of us sent elaine t e traffic light dere.
aft tt went bac t bk where we were studyin. at ard 7 plus we packed up and walked ard. so we walk t heeren den t taka. it was a blast at taka, we laughed so much and we saw terence, shu's fren. he's so damn tall. and so we went bac t cine t mit jinn n her frens.
so sat at yoshi and talked. and someone jus piss me n shu off. tt person cn jus burn in hell. burn so me and shu cn b happy. hahs.

_________________

i miss my PIG!! i miss you. saturday havn pass yet lo, and i cnt wait for sunday t pass to so i cn see you. miss you until cn jus cry ):
okays, and ure studyin now. i doubt you are alr? im so sad, i jus wish you cn b here for me whn i need someone. but seems like whenever im sad i'll nvr haf anyone by my side. sigh.

_________________



` spyke




im wating.

Yours, K
1:36 PM

tday i started off my day with a bad note. kena scolded by kang, bcus of my fuckin hair. im sry i used vulgarities but i cnt control it. den she tld me tt my hair is too short., blah blah. so i hafta wear a stupid hairband ard e school and yes, it looks damn weird. i hate it. fuckin hate it.
and my leg is injured! its damn pain, den nw blue black. hafta kinda limp ard whn walk and its like at the to dere! hmpfh.
_______________

tday roz damn funny la, she was showin me and my frens tt she look pregnant. so she pushed up her tummy and casey did it with her. super funny, i and co. kept laughing! den she did her USUAL funny stupid faces and she shake her arms like monkey! i wna see it agn. mks me laugh till my tummy cn burst!! and i and ame was learning t copy jay chou's 'ni chou kai' so cute okays!
den let ame(small) listen t 'an jing' so she cn play it on e piano so she cn teach me! hahs.

_______________

okays, i was like waiting t see you aft sch tday but you dint come down until 3 plus. and i was super happy whn i saw you. YAY! hahs, den i hafta go through e torturing days of saturday and sunday cos i cnt even see you at all. you got tuition. stupid tuition! dun tk e leta's content t heart i was jus writing wht i tink and wht i felt. yeh, but if you like kinda got affected den im sry. but i noe you wun. cos you wun care. fuck, cnt you jus care for me a bit more? suck my blood only! HAHS! anws, im like kinda happy in e first half of e morning, ard early afternoon. i was damn happy. hahs. but den i saw someone and i was not happy anymore. everytime i see tt idiot my mood wil jus change, i noe she shdnt b affecting me but she is. is like everytime i see her i tink of you. and i dowan t tink of you whn i see her. i hate tt moron. im sry but i hate tt moron.

_______________

wht am i gna do if waiting is not gna help?
i dowana gif you up, baby.
cos only 3 words can explain this; ilu.



` spyke



all i can do is t wait -

Yours, K
1:17 PM

okays, had my chinese exam tday and im comfirm failin it.
blame it on e compre and my poor command of chinese. this sucks la.
for the first time, my compo was so FINE-ing long la. okays, u mus b wonderin wht fine? its actually fuck, but den i wna control myself fr using
vulgarities so sub words lo. it was nt a happy day for me even tho i wished tt i'll b happy everyday! but its obviously impossible. cos im without you.
______________

jus found out smth, and i was kinda shock. its like my fren tld me smth and i purposely dint hear it. and it was like she tld me another fren of mine likes me. wht bad taste. HAHS! and it rained so heavily, but its gd okays. so i cn get t see YOU longer. but u left kinda fast. like earlier den usual. dammit. and im still waiting. im contradicting myself.
i tld kerrie i was nt waiting for you anymore but i still am! hahs. probably i cnt bear t let it go at all. its jus so heart pain t let go.
well, i liked you first and you dint. i DONT haf e power okays. since whn do i haf e power as said by yr frens? i dun haf it at all, if i haf e POWER, ure alr mine den. hahs. ure so darn difficult okays! but im still tryg.

______________

and t everyone out dere who is feelin e pain in e heart,
dun fret. cos ure nt e only one, im sure dere will b frens for you.
even if nt, try nt t tink so much bcus its nt gna help.
well, at least im tryg nt t tink abt all e sad things. be happy.
(:



even if its nt forever, den mk it e longest it can be



` spyke






time passes slowly when im WAITING.

Yours, K
12:22 PM

oh no. im a fuckin slacker. everybody is like studyin and im here blogging!!smth is wrong. tday kinda happy, went t sit with YOU. den talk
and play a bit. and i noe im fuckin fair la. ure tan okays! idiot pig.
but i noe i've been distturbing you, so im SORRY. oh Mcfly is on radio,
and it reminds me of you. hahs. okays. i did the hearts for you until
my hand damn pain la! but nvm la, its worth it (:

im thirsty, okays. i'll stop here and i beta be off studying!
woohoo. i miss YOU!! hope yr feelins increase okays!


ilu darls.




` SPYKE

Yours, K
12:00 PM

im so fuckin sad now. okays, if YOU're readin this. read e past ENTRIES.
i so like want you t noe how e fuckin hell i feel, but its nt getting thru.
i rly wna brk down n cry my fuckin heart out. i feel e damn burden in
me. its so damn heavy, my heart jus sank so deep. im jus lyin t myself, it hurts so badly. and if i gotta cut my heart out, you'll see all e scars and scratches on e surface of e fragile heart. i HATE myself. all those things i did for you, u mean it dint even touch u at all? i did it willingly i noe,
but dun u jus feel e passion i haf for you? i so wna hate you, i rly wna hate
you. but i cnt bring myself t do it. i jus love you.
____________

i was willing t fight for you,
i was willing t cry for you.
but i still had t gif you up,
cause even though i was willing t do EVERTHING for you,
you weren't.
___________

I LOVE YOU. i dono how t mk u do, so tis is all i can say.
and i rly do. pls, im sufferin here. ease my pain.


` SPYKE

Yours, K
2:48 PM

haven been updating, cos i want SOMEONE t read my past post. so if YOU r readin tis post,
pls read my past entry. but yr com is like down with e stupid virus. i wna kill e damn virus.
im eating honey stars now, den im like thinkin of you cos u love honey stars. im sry im
thinkin of you. i cnt help it. dun angry okays. i noe u dun lyk it. and ure some pig, fell
aslp on me! cos u dint reply me, too tired ah? study too much or miss me too much?
im so ego! hahs. im listening t a very sad song now, n im thinkin of all e sad things
u said t me. feel like cryin, this sucks. its like i love you a lot, but im afraid tt if i tel you,
you'll get angry. and i hate rejection, and i jus got it. i cant tell you how i feel at all right?
so im sayin it thru here. im really afraid tt you'll get super angry if i tell you how i
feel. i cant keep it bottled inside me. i need t let it out, i noe you'll nvr like me. its like
im doin e extreme in likin you whn i noe ure nvr gna like me. this sucks too ):
and this paragraph is really kinda long, i got so many things t pour out. argh!fuckit.
dun get angry okayys? cos im gna say this...



I LOVE YOU // *



so whn you see this, DUN angry okayys? i cant help my feelings. you can choose t ignore it,
so i can choose t love you. and monday got NO school!! fuckit la, see you one day LESS.
i hate this too. i want school like everyday, hahs. im insane. nobody wants t go school
everyday and its only me. and its simply cos i wna see you. do you even FEEL for me?
oh, whn u read tis entry. pls stil do reply my msges okays?! cos whn u tried avoidin me
tt time i was devastated! i was so sad, kept checkin my fone t see whether you got reply me.
and i type so much for you. SEE! i so nice!
im so sad, thinkin of what you said t me before again. fuck. im gna cry really soon.
if you want me t gif up, i will and its bcus I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH! i really dowana
gif it all up ):



ayways, tday went for e perfect 10 i dare you to thing. its like u get instant cash but e
djs drag e time den cldnt do it. n some was quite embarrassing. its like wear a thai boxin shorts n go t opp lido n shout PERFECT TEN DARE ME TO. skye was like askin me t go but den so malu la. sai. den got one is hold someone's ass n chest of e same sex. n me n skye wanted t do it w our frens, but e djs skip tt dare. dere were a lot more dares but e cash was low. tmr gg agn.
hahs. and i'll prob do e dare on wearin e thai boxin shorts if YOU'RE dere. cos at least can
show off a bit. HAHS!

fuck la, my dad jus tld me i only can leave hse ard 2 plus tmr. which means i cnt do e dares.
okayys, maybe nex week or smth la. will YOU b dere t see me do it? wait, i forgot dere
is exams! after exams okayys? cos it'll be on for 4 weeks.
mus come okays, den u can slack in town. YAY!

__________________ for YOU.

` t the world you may be one person, but t me you're the world.
` my love for you is true, and it'll nvr grow old.
` a fren's love will say: if you need anything, i'll be dere.
` true love will say: you nvr need anything, i'll be dere.
` my love comes from the heart, it will outlast anything.
` my love want to unlock your bars of impossibility.


________________

i wait for you, anxious to see your face.
i stand and watch, looking at e first sign of yr arrival.
i finally see you, i tk a 2nd look makin sure you're really dere.
my pulse races and i crack a smile, this is what i've been waiting for.
you begin t approach and smiled.
i smiled back, and think t myself i'll wait forever.





- i hope you get what i mean. ilu.


` SPYKE

Yours, K
2:55 PM