Tuesday, September 11, 2007
After much thought, I decided to be at
Yeap, the url is same as my hotmail.
So long blogger, I'll come back for you at times.
I LEFT MY FAVOURITE NIKE BRA AT THE HOTEL.
I JUST PISSED MYSELF OFF.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Past = me
Present = her
No matter how much you deny, you know you
feel for her a little but you're not admitting.
And oh, you can take anything you want from me
except the one I love and stop doing it.
Stop denying too cause it's obvious enough for me to see.
Just a note for everyone, choose your friends wisely.
Don't end up like me and chose a friend
who likes the girl I love.
I wake up every night, to see the state I'm in.
It's like an endless fight, I never seem to win.
So I'm back and go to Sheryl's blog for more.
We were part of each other's life and I was the one
person whom you can't seem to get your mind off.
And without doubt, you were always on my mind too.
I look forward to school because there was you, I can
see you face, your smile and I can see you looking at me.
How we walked pass each other in school pretending that both
of us didn't exsist but inside we are yearning so much
for us to be open and how much I wanted to tell you,
" Good morning sweetheart, I love you." But I could only
do that in a virtual form as a text message.
Everyday, we were just like lovebirds humming tunes and
singing love songs and I felt so blessed and I was so Proud.
You sacrificed because of something you experienced called love.
It was new to you and you love it cause you didn't knew that
loving someone can be so sweet and I know you love being loved
I knew you were upset when you walked away.
I remembered that I told you not to leave me and
make you promise me but you kept silent.
I understood that you couldn't commit and couldn't
make such a promise that you can't keep.
And Baby, I was heartbroken because I know I won't
be your Morning, Afternoon and Night for long.
But it couldn't beat being heartbroken that you found
someone after me.
She's now your Morning, Afternoon and Night.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
People lie to hide guilt and it's you two.
I always thought you were a threat and I'm right.
I was telling Gaya not to let her know her gf/bf or else
someone will take them away just like my situation.
Then Gaya said she wont have any gfs and she wouldn't take her
bf too. Why? Because if her bf is (that race) she won't take them.
HAHAHAHA. Seriously, Gaya is funny.
I smiled when I thought about how crazily we were in
love with each other. How I was your Morning, Afternoon and Night,
and you were too. Then how we got love sick because it was unusual
that we couldn't text each other as much or talk on the phone. How I will
count the times you will say the same word over and over again and you
didn't really care cause you were happy that way. I was happy that you
were happy and I loved it when I force you to kiss me through the phone.
I could sense that you were blushing but you liked it.
I liked the way you smell even though you didn't bathe but because
love blinds me and I guess it blinded my nose by loving the way you stink.
You gave your first kiss to me and even you weren't my first but it felt like it.
Why? Because you were innocent. You were consious of how your kiss
to me will be like. Whether I liked it or not. But Babe, you know
I don't like anything you do for me cause I love it.
Sounds corny? Because we were in love.
I didn't treat you the best I could and I know you mind.
I know I hurt you but you didn't tell me and when you told me how I hurt
you, you already left me. I don't realise what I've done to cause the one I
love and adore to be in pain. I always thought you weren't, I thought.
Cause you loved me, you let it go. I love you too and I still love you.
I can sacrifice cause there is only one you.
Monday, September 3, 2007
I couldn't sleep because I was talking to my friends and
dreaming about what it would be like if I could get my hands on
that Nikon camera for $1300+ fucking expensive I swear.
It was at the space where we hid under the moonlight and kissed.
How disturbing those noises the lizards were making but that
didn't matter because that's how people in love will react.
I guess we were crazy and we were yearning to kiss each other too.
I couldn't see you face clearly because it was dark and it was early
in the morning where people were sleeping and we were... well,
enjoying each other's company. You were so wonderful and I was
lucky, very lucky to have you.
I saw the space a few days back and how I recall and how real it
felt once again. But I can only recall, and thats the best I can have.
All I have is words with me, but I knew my actions could make you stay.
But rather, it made you leave because I fucking walked away.
Now when I think back, my life get shortened by a few days.
I never knew how to be really happy when I lost you.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
She was at your house.
Your heart instead.
I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?
Saturday, September 1, 2007
I'm scared to see you because :
I don't want to see what I'm not suppose to see,
I don't want to hear what I'm not suppose to hear.
I keep telling myself that it is not what it seems to be,
but I guess I sucked at convincing myself.
I keep thinking of that particular scenario and I think
it affected me and it was showed during training.
While I was walking home I was thinking of all the possibilities.
And I finally conclude; it's different.
You did that three times, replacing one after another,
You find any kick in that and hurting the one you dumped?It's what you two said, claim and deny.But when everything is visible and clear in front of you,then I think it's a different story.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I feel The Urge
I miss you
. Damn badly.Sigh.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Hairin saw her today!
Not fair! :(
I miss seeing her.
This. Is. Bad. Because. I. Think. I've. Really. Fallen. For. Her.
Monday, August 27, 2007
But your face,
keeps me in comatose.
Sorry I don't make sense but I'm very much in love
with someone. And I think that's what love do to you,
it's crazy but I think I like it. Hehehehehe.
Hello E for Elephant, I'm K for Kangaroo.
It's gonna be 3 weeks and I hope we can see each other in school.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I should stop using the intial like "K" cause I realise I'm not the
only one. So some other people might ask questions using
the initial "K" and they think it's me. Hahaha. Seriously, I got
nothing else better to blog cause class is boring and I'm Eggcited.
I'm gonna go home, read a book and sleep. What a life I'm living.
And seriously, on the way to school I kept thinking of -(Anon).
I wonder how it would be like if we were to get together.
Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend that being hurt is an inconvinience
that can be overcome with the proper amount of words and/or some physcology.
There are times when I wanna be alone and cry my heart out but knowing
how puffy my eyes will be, I refused. I keep all those pain in me until
that fine day I will explode in pieces. I don't have a big heart to contain those
misgivings only I think my ass is big and I don't lie about that. I am hips,
so hips don't lie. Sorry about the bad puns but I seriously need something
lame and stupid to cheer me up and that would probably be, myself.
Be it a failed/brief relationship or a failed friendship, I'm so emotional.
So how can I be so insane to ask myself to check whether
I need them in my life. There are times when I thought that
I can do without them and lead life as per normal as how I always do
like eating so damn much and complain I'm so damn fat.
But I'm so used to their exsistence that the most difficult is even when the
relationship fails you want them to be your friend to share your woes.
But how life torture me and how I torture myself that it's so difficult to have
such a scenario.
I think I'm sucha bore cause all I have is words and no pictures.
I don't have the habbit of taking pictures when I go out and not
when everything I do is about floorball.
I want to talk through my pictures but unfortunately my camera is missing
and I don't want to use my phone camera. You know talking through
pictures is so cool cause there are many interpretations and it's up to you to
interpret it. So no offence even if you misinterpret it.
Wow, I'm suprised how I type so much and how I'm so tired at 1:27.
Alright, there is fucking school tomorrow and I don't like the faci because
she doesn't like me, I can tell.
Okay, I'm off to hop and hope to find someone that I can relate to while
on the process of hopping and hopping and hopping.
And seriously, I think I fell in love with you.